We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
