Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
