who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
