My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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