"it" just moved
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
