Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We need to rekindle our bromance
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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