I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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