Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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