i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
