our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
