then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
