Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
