Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
