Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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