I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
