I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My ass is underappreciated
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
