If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
