how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
