I got chris browned last night
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
