She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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