I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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