imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
