I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
