Dual....:-)
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
