Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
