So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Randomize
