I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
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I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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