I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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