You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
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He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
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it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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