Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
