I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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