if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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