We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Your penis caused this!
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