Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
