shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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