The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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