Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I AM VODKA MAN
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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