the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
