Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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