break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
