if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
