Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
