the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
