I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
