I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
