Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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