Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
