shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
