Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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