it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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