Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He kissed a someone with a penis
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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