i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I can't turn off my feet"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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