the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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