God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
