umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
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