THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
