VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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