A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
