He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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