There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
