It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
How external is "for external use only"?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
this hospital has no fireball
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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