I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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