yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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