she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
